Zero Sincerity

I got into a small crash on a Baltimore street that was doing its best impression of a choose-your-own-adventure book. There were no clear lane lines, the signs were either missing or hiding, and nobody could tell who was supposed to go when. So two drivers (both trying to be polite) did what Baltimore traffic teaches you to do: guess. We guessed wrong and lightly bumped into each other like confused shopping carts.

Nobody was hurt, which honestly felt like a miracle considering the way this intersection is designed. It’s the kind of place where you slow down not because the street tells you to, but because your brain is screaming “this looks unsafe.” People in the neighborhood all know it’s bad. We talk about it. We joke about it. We avoid it when we can. Somehow the city still hasn’t figured it out, even though they have had plenty of time, complaints, and screenshots.

What really makes it funny is how active Baltimore DOT is online. If street safety were measured in tweets, memes, and snarky replies, this would be the safest city on Earth. The social media game is as weak as Brandon Scott's leadership. It kind of feels like the department puts more energy into posting than into painting lane lines or putting up signs that adults can read without a decoder ring.

I’m glad Vision Zero wants stories like mine, because this is what it looks like in real life: normal people navigating streets that feel like they were designed by someone with a very short attention span. If the goal is zero crashes, it might help to spend less time typing and more time fixing the actual roads

*Intentionally written on the fourth-grade reading level you acquired in Baltimore City Public School